Yesterday, I learned the details of the family situation of a very sweet older lady named Papati, who works here at Carmel's hostel. She does so much work at the hostel. Some of her duties include: preparing the food for all X standard students (30-40 children), cleaning the dishes used to prepare the food cooked for all of the children living at the hostel (some extra large pots and pans) and other various types of kitchen work for Freena and Backi. I believe she stays at the hostel when she is working, along with her grandson, Siva, who studies V standard (5th grade). This boy speaks very little English as he is studying at a local public school (where very little English is taught). I was curious about why he stayed with his grandma and where his family was.
So, with translation assistance from Renuga, I learned the details. When Siva was about 4 years old or so, his parents were always fighting and arguing. This led to his mother taking some type of medicine to kill herself. Siva's father went off and took a new wife, no longer caring for Siva. Papati, having no husband and suffering the loss of her daughter, took on the job of caring for her grandson.
They have very little and I'm sure her income is minimal to say the least, but my respect for Papati grew so much just from hearing this story. I see how much she loves her grandson and that she's doing her best to provide for him. She has faced loss in her life, but still found love in her heart even at an old age, to take on the care of her grandson. I also see how accepted Siva is by the other boys who are living at the hostel. They play together so nicely, including him in all games, eat together, share their clothes with him and treat him like a brother, even though he is not technically a "hostel boy."
It's quite unbelievable just how common suicide is in Tamil Nadu. It's also becoming extremely "popular" to leave your wife and move on to another (no divorce involved in the situation). These people have absolutely no hope in their lives...they face any difficulty and they decide to end their life. Or they argue with their wife, so they leave and marry someone else. I keep getting told it's the "culture," but it breaks my heart to know what these events are doing to these people's children. That is the part that I face every day. I see the sadness in these children's eyes; how slow they are to accept compliments and loving acts of kindness. These situations that we hope our own children would never have to face is something that has been accepted as "the norm." It amazes me to learn about these different family backgrounds and see where everyone is coming from. It opens my eyes in astonishing and very difficult ways. While not always easy to accept or understand, it's helping me to grow, mature and deepen my relationship with my loving Savior. I pray for Siva and his grandmother, Papati; for all of the families affected by their fathers leaving and moving on to a "new" family; for all the children affected by suicide...that all of these people may not be overcome by the overwhelming hardship of their situation, but may develop perseverance and faith through it all.
-James 1:2-4-
So, with translation assistance from Renuga, I learned the details. When Siva was about 4 years old or so, his parents were always fighting and arguing. This led to his mother taking some type of medicine to kill herself. Siva's father went off and took a new wife, no longer caring for Siva. Papati, having no husband and suffering the loss of her daughter, took on the job of caring for her grandson.
They have very little and I'm sure her income is minimal to say the least, but my respect for Papati grew so much just from hearing this story. I see how much she loves her grandson and that she's doing her best to provide for him. She has faced loss in her life, but still found love in her heart even at an old age, to take on the care of her grandson. I also see how accepted Siva is by the other boys who are living at the hostel. They play together so nicely, including him in all games, eat together, share their clothes with him and treat him like a brother, even though he is not technically a "hostel boy."
It's quite unbelievable just how common suicide is in Tamil Nadu. It's also becoming extremely "popular" to leave your wife and move on to another (no divorce involved in the situation). These people have absolutely no hope in their lives...they face any difficulty and they decide to end their life. Or they argue with their wife, so they leave and marry someone else. I keep getting told it's the "culture," but it breaks my heart to know what these events are doing to these people's children. That is the part that I face every day. I see the sadness in these children's eyes; how slow they are to accept compliments and loving acts of kindness. These situations that we hope our own children would never have to face is something that has been accepted as "the norm." It amazes me to learn about these different family backgrounds and see where everyone is coming from. It opens my eyes in astonishing and very difficult ways. While not always easy to accept or understand, it's helping me to grow, mature and deepen my relationship with my loving Savior. I pray for Siva and his grandmother, Papati; for all of the families affected by their fathers leaving and moving on to a "new" family; for all the children affected by suicide...that all of these people may not be overcome by the overwhelming hardship of their situation, but may develop perseverance and faith through it all.
-James 1:2-4-
