January Team Visit

First of all, my sincerest apologies for not posting in quite some time. I know many of my friends really look forward to my blog posts, so I'm sorry for keeping you waiting!! It's been an incredibly busy past few weeks with the team's visit. We had a team of about 15 this year. I must say that it has truly been amazing to be on the other side of this visit. For the past five years, I've always been one of the team members so I only knew the visit from that perspective. But, having arrived in September (a little less than four months prior to the team's annual visit each January), I got to experience it from a completely different perspective.

It's been incredible seeing how much effort and emotions go into the team's 10-day stay. I've seen it all. The weekly prayers for the team members (which had been taking place at least since my mid-September arrival). I've seen the hard work by all of the teachers and staff (at both the school and hostel) that goes into all of the special activities like Sports Day, the Science Exhibition, the Pongal Cultural Activities, the Sing Song Service, the FKP Cultural Program and the Community Dinner. The effort by all of the FKP sponsor children to prepare for the FKP cultural program including: memorizing Bible verses in English (some members 5-10, others 20-30, one 15-year-old boy memorized 50!), planning matching outfits and props, and a load of dance practices (during school, after school, in the evening and some taking place at 10 o'clock at night). All of the planning and preparations that go into making the three meals and afternoon tea that the team enjoys each day. The selflessness of Karthick, who checked the fridge multiple times each day to make sure the team had cold water and soft drinks at all hours of the day. All of the excitement and anticipation that builds up to the team stepping off of that bus and entering the gates of the hostel. The ear-to-ear grins on the children's faces as they see their sponsors for the first time in one or two years. The hugs and high fives shared with team members as the children greet them along both sides of the driveway. The incredible sense of joy that fills the air during the entire time that the team is there. The small conversations between team members and children that give the children a smile enough to last them the whole day.

I've also seen the more difficult times that the team's visit brings. The sadness and tears of the children as they hug their sponsors tightly, hoping and praying that they return next January. The disappointment the children feel when they do not get as much time to spend with the sponsors on a particular day. The overwhelming silence that surrounds the hostel when the bus pulls away. The sorrow the children feel in their hearts when they realize they have to wait a whole year to receive love...love that only the team gives them. Backie and Freena's sadness as they have a special goodbye ceremony for their loving sponsors.

All of these things I've seen and experienced over the past two weeks, both good and bad, I would not trade for anything in the world. The one thing that I have witnessed most prevalently through the team's stay is an enormous amount of love. The entire community of Carmel (not only the children, but all of the staff, teachers and Backie and Freena too) love the team with all of their hearts. They work so hard and put forth so much effort out of pure love for these people who they only see once a year. They treat them like they are kings and queens. They love them as their own family. Those two weeks in January are undoubtedly the highlight of their entire year. Spending time simply talking with the team members is something they cherish like nothing else. They know the team members have families, friends, jobs, lives back in America; so it makes them feel especially loved to know that these team members would take two weeks out of their hectic schedules to spend here at Carmel.

I am beyond thankful that I now have this perspective to keep in my mind. It is now even clearer to me the need for a team to visit Carmel every year. I've had many people ask me, "Wouldn't it be better to take the money that is spent for a team to visit Carmel for two weeks and simply mail Backie and Freena a check instead?" I always used to struggle with that question because I knew it was a sincere amount of money that could be used well, but I also knew how much joy filled my own heart on every trip (let alone the children's). But now, I have no doubt in my mind that the answer to that question is an absolute "NO WAY!" No way does money or "stuff" make these children and everyone at Carmel feel as loved and as cherished as a team's visit does.

I believe that every one of these children deserve every ounce of love and joy they get when the team comes. They are living in a culture where affection is not encouraged; where no one even blinks when a child is beat; where an overwhelming number of parents are not able to care for their children; where a child or adult with HIV/AIDS is completely shunned in the community in which they live. These kids deserve every hug and every laugh that is shared with a team member. It may be seem small or even seem like nothing to you, but I can tell you that it is the world to these children.

I am SO thankful to the wonderful team that came to visit my second family this year and also for all of those awesome team members that have come on previous trips to Carmel. Thank you for sharing your time and money to come and love these kids. I hope you all know just how much your visits have meant to the entire community of Carmel. <3

A New Year

As 2013 comes to a close, I look back at the year that God has blessed me with. If I chose 4 highlights from this year, they would be:

1. the decision to follow my dream
2. being blown away by an enormous amount of love and support from all of my family and friends
3. meeting a wonderful group of lifelong friends and prayer partners from all around the world as well as gaining a huge amount of knowledge and skills at ILTI 2013 (an amazing literacy training led by LEI in Tulsa, OK)
4. the chance to celebrate Christmas with the most incredible kids I know

God has overwhelmed me with blessings this year. I feel almost unworthy of all He has provided for me. While I am beyond thankful for all the blessings, I am also extremely thankful for the trials of 2013. It is through those trials that God has shown me His power and His love. It is through those trials that God has deepened my faith and brought me through an even stronger person than before. In my life and the lives of those around me, I have seen God hard at work this year. The power and love of the Lord astounds me and it's an amazing thing to see if you just look carefully.

Obviously, the biggest part of 2013 for me was getting on a plane and beginning my 6-month stay in Semmandakuppam, India. I look back at the past three and a half months in awe of God's love. He has been with me every step of this incredible journey. I am so thankful that I have never, not once, felt alone while I've been so far away from home. These children have taught me more than I could even begin to put into words. They are my best friends, my brothers and sisters. I love each of them with everything that's in me. Teaching alongside the teachers of CMS has been an experience that I will not forget in this lifetime. Backie, Freena and all of the staff of Carmel Children's Home inspire me every single day.

To be starting a new year with my Carmel family is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I will, not for one minute, take for granted. I am so lucky that God has given me this enormous blessing of being here with these amazing people. I could not be more excited for what 2014 will bring. This year, I am not making any resolutions because when I think about it, my future is not in my hands, it's in the Lord's. He is in control of my life and knows what's next for me. For Proverbs 16:3 says, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."

Already, I know that 2014 will bring many trials and joys. Some of them include...

*the team's visit to Carmel
*the second half of my unforgettable Carmel stay
*one of the most difficult goodbyes I may ever experience
*a most joyous reunion with my family and friends that will be 6 months in the making
*determining what's next for me in my life

But, as I look forward, I have no worries or fears because I know that God will be with me every step of the way. I hope that you all read this post and get inspired to feel the same. God is with each one of us as long as we just believe in Him. He is great...just let Him know it!! A very happy new year is wished to all who read this post. God bless you and your family in 2014!

Faith

Matthew 17:20 says, "'You don't have enough faith,' Jesus told them. 'I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.'"

This week I have seen the faith of some of these children and, let me tell you, their faith is a lot bigger than a mustard seed. It has made my heart swell with pride to see their faith on display. God is most definitely at work here at Carmel and it is an absolutely incredible thing to see.

Before every meal (tiffin/snack included), both the boys and the girls pray a group prayer. They also say a prayer after arriving home from school and finishing study time. I think one of the things I find most amazing is that many of the older children read the Bible and say a prayer before they begin studying. It amazes me because the mealtime and after-school/study time prayers are mandatory (they are ingrained into their brains and they say the same prayer every day), but their pre-study prayers and Bible-readings are completely done out of their own desire. You have no idea how encouraging it is to see Madesh, Gomathi, Joyce, Albert and Sasi (those are just a few) reading the Bible purely for their own interest.

This past Sunday, I gave a really nice message (if I do say so myself) on James 1:22-25. It was surprising when it took quite a while for anyone to find it because they weren't familiar with this book. So, I encouraged them all to read it this week in their spare time. Well, Monday night, Albert (who is 16 years old) asked me quite innocently, "Aunty, do you understand James 3?" I was so proud that he was actually reading and making an effort to understand the book that I had encouraged him to. It touched my heart that he wanted to make sure he understood clearly the chapters that I had advised. It is not often that you come across a sixteen-year-old boy who reads the Bible prior to studying every single evening! It's hard enough to get teenage boys (and girls for that matter) to church every Sunday, but here are Albert, Madesh, Sasi, Gabriel, Joyce, Gomathi, Renuga and Gayathri going to devotion in chapel every morning at 6:30am, studying for an average of 5 hours each day, and praying and reading the bible of their own accord. It only strengthens my own faith to see these children's faith on such glorious display.

Another really special moment that I got to witness this week was at school on Saturday. Right now, the students are in the middle of writing their half-yearly exams (similar to mid-terms). On Saturday, I supervised sections IV-B, IV-C, V-B and V-C in Memorial Hall with three other teachers. I am walking down the long lines of children as I supervise them beginning to write their tests (we had just handed out the papers and question papers). When I walk past Lokesh (who is in V-C section and lives at the hostel), I see him in the middle of a prayer. Here he is, preparing to write his test, and what is the first thing he does? Pray. My heart overflowed with pride and joy for this young boy who I've become so close to over the past three months.

I see these young children and the amount of faith they have and it really makes me wonder about those people around the world who have no faith...not even faith the size of a mustard seed (which is pretty miniscule). Some of these people have everything they could dream of, but they have absolutely no faith. Yet, here are these children ages 9-18, who have very little in the way of material things and are lucky enough to own a Bible in their mother tongue. But, they are praying, praising God and reading the Bible every day, simply because they want to.

Lokesh, who is just in 5th grade, has no parents. When summer holidays come, he chooses to stay at the hostel when all of the other children go home to spend time with their families. He has every excuse to be unhappy and ungrateful, but he has enough faith to move a mountain and most always has a smile and positive outlook on life. Lokesh's faith inspires me every day. He brightens my day whenever I am feeling down. I am so thankful for this sweet sweet boy with a smile that could light up this world.

These two experiences just give you a glimpse of how amazing these kids are and maybe you can begin to see the reason behind my love for these kids and this incredible place. Not many people get to see God at work in their lifetimes or get to live their dream and follow the Lord's plan for them, but here I am experiencing BOTH. I am so grateful to God for providing me with this opportunity and I am cherishing every single moment.

As Christmas draws closer, yes, I do miss my family like crazy and part of me does wish that I was home to celebrate with them, but I must see what God has given me this year. He's given me the chance to be here, to celebrate Christmas with my Carmel family. I know many people around the world don't have the opportunity to celebrate Christmas this year with any family. So, I am extremely thankful to be here, able to celebrate with people who inspire me most. The climate may be different, the songs may be in another language, the ways of celebrating may not be what I am used to, but Christmas is still a wonderful time to be spent with family and friends, praising the Lord for the miracle that He gave us through the birth of His Son, Jesus Christ. I am here, able to enjoy this holiday with some of my best friends and a community that has quickly become my second family. How lucky I am to be surrounded by people I love during this most special time of year! <3

Perseverance

I have to admit that I felt a bit like a failure this past week, but I learned a very important lesson through it all. I was able to see God at work, so I am grateful to Him for opening my eyes. Trials may come, things might not always be sunshine and rainbows, but they are particularly the times when we need to lean on the Lord. He is waiting for us during those times, so all we have to do is turn to Him.

At the beginning of last week, I gave all 6 of my classes an exam on some of the things that I have taught them over the past two months. This was upon Backie's request, not my own. In my classroom I use a variety of different methods and approaches so I felt like I had a good grasp on how my students were getting along, but I was happy to oblige to Backie's request and see how my students would fare. My preparations (what seemed like a VERY busy time period) included: ensuring the layout of the exam covered an adequate amount of material and totaled the correct number of marks (50), creating a different question paper for each standard that I teach (that would be a total of 6 plus 6 keys that I also made for easy grading; not to mention all of the revisions that I made to the test in between first draft and final copy), and, finally, making sure all of my students were well-prepared for the test (we spent a full week prior to the test reviewing all subject material that would be covered on the exam plus, in the evenings, I gave extra help to some of the children at the hostel).

All of my students took this test last Monday (Dec 2nd). It's now Sunday, and I finished marking my almost 400 tests (some students were absent...so not quite 400) yesterday. Considering that half of this week was spent in Chennai, I think that 5 days is a pretty good turn around time! While doing the corrections was quite a lengthy and tiring process, I must admit that it went pretty quickly because I was eager to see my students' scores.

Now, at first, when I began marking, I felt very sad and discouraged that sometimes an entire class wouldn't score above a 40 (the total was 50 marks). I took it personally and it was not a nice feeling, but after marking all of my exams, I have learned a couple of things...

1. When you are teaching a class of 88 students single-handed, there might be a few students that you don't reach.
2. When you are teaching a language that is not a child's native tongue, they might not have the vocabulary to speak their doubts.
3. And possibly the most important, I have learned a little more behind the specifics of Carmel Matriculation School. Fifth standard and younger has 3 sections/classes (A, B and C), whereas sixth standard through ninth has only 2 (A and B). These classes are not simply divided into two or three even groups. They are divided by "brightness level." For the younger standards, A section is for the "dull" students, B section is for the "average" students and C section is for the "bright" students. For the older standards, A section is for the "dull" students and B section is for the "bright students;" except for ninth standard which is, for some strange reason, the opposite (haven't quite figured out the reason yet). Now, I was not fully aware of this until after my exams, and while I'm a little frustrated that I didn't know it sooner, I am thankful that I gave this exam and was able to realize the importance of this detail in my classroom. In my classroom, I have all of the sections together, so it is very easy for those A and B sections to get lost and left behind. But, now I know and am able to incorporate it into my teaching style and this can only improve my teaching.

So, while I am disappointed by some scores, I am filled with determination to do better. To reach ALL of the students in my classes and not just the B or C sections. To have everyone participating, learning and, most importantly, speaking. Already I have made some changes and after the New Year, I plan on implementing more. (Half-yearly exams start at the end of this week followed by half-yearly holidays and Christmas/New Year's...so only a couple days of spoken class remaining for 2013)

Many times when I was growing up, my Gram said to me one phrase over and over again. So many times I heard it, that it has stuck in my head for life. That phrase is, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." Never has that phrase rang clearer for me than it does at this moment. I am ready and eager to pick myself up and try again so that I can become the best English teacher possible for these students, who have quickly worked their way into my heart. I don't really know how my heart has enough space for all 400 of them, but somehow God has made it grow to fit them all. While last week was very discouraging, I am more than ready to face a new week...a new week that will bring change.

Through all of this, I am especially thankful today for this Bible verse.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-4

It is speaking so clearly to me today...through my test results last week and a family matter that occurred this weekend. It is helping me through these small bumps in the road and I am beyond grateful to God for opening my eyes to it last night. I know that I am developing perseverance through my trials in the classroom and those in my family life, and that my faith will only grow stronger because of them. So, I am thankful for this trial at school because through it, God is at work inside of me. I now understand the importance of perseverance...thank you, Lord, for helping to build mine.

Overflowing with Thanks

Well, it's Thanksgiving. In India, it's just another day, but I could not let it pass without giving any thanks. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays; if I can't enjoy it with my own family, I plan on enjoying it with my Carmel family. As I think of all the blessings God has given me, I am overflowing with thankfulness this year. Here are my top ten things that I am thankful for today.

1. To be where I am at this exact moment. I am so thankful to be able to spend 6 months with people that I love with all my heart.
2. For my amazing parents. I would not be who I am today without them. I am thankful for all the love they gave me and continue to give me and for the way in which they raised me. Of the many things I have learned so far on this trip, one of the biggest is that not every child grows up with their parents' love and care. But I am especially lucky because not only do my parents love me to the moon and back, I know they would do anything for me. Thanks, Mama and Padre. I love you so much. And thank you God for giving me such wonderful parents.
3. For my big sister. We may have had our arguments over the years and driven each other a bit crazy, but through it all we have become best friends. I am so grateful to have such a loving and supportive older sister to look up to. I am SO thankful for our past and present and I am particularly excited for our future :) :)
4. To be able to be living my dream and God's plan for me. Thanks to a lot of hard work and a lot of support from friends and family, I am here. I know not many people get this chance in their lifetime, so I am cherishing each moment.
5. For all of the things that God has opened my eyes to on this trip (and those He has yet to). I am forever changed by them and they have made my faith even stronger.
6. For my sweet puppy, Buddy, who I adopted 2 years ago. He is the sweetest, most adorable little guy and he brings so much joy to me and my family. I am thankful that I was able to bring him into my family, where we can give him all the love he never received from his first home. I am also EXTREMELY thankful to my parents for taking such awesome care of my little guy while I am away from him for 6 months.
7. To be able to support my 2 sponsor children, Karthick and Shalini. I am thankful for the opportunity to help them with the situations that they are in.
8. For Backie and Freena and all of the amazing work they are doing for the Lord. I have so much respect for them and all that they do. They have such big hearts and are full of compassion for others. It is because of them that some very special children are being given help and are being shown God's love.
9. For all of the children and adults who have become some of my best friends over these past 2 months. Without their chats, smiles and jokes each day, I would be missing home a lot more. I hold these friendships very close to my heart.
10. Lastly, I am thankful for God's love because without it I would be nowhere. It is because of His love that I have so many things to be thankful for. His love gives me forgiveness of my sins and an eternal place next to Him in Heaven. Things don't get much greater than that.

On this Thanksgiving day, remember to give thanks because that is what this holiday is all about. And please do me one favor...enjoy the time with your family and friends because there are some people who don't have that opportunity this year. I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving, especially to my family. God bless you. <3

Downtime

Perhaps my most favorite time while I am here is whenever I have downtime, time that I can spend as I wish. Every time, I choose to spend this time with the kids because they are the reason I am here. But, I am quickly realizing it's because they have become my best friends, my brothers and my sisters. I treasure this time I get to spend with them simply because we have so much fun together. We play cards, tease each other, dance, look at pictures and videos, tell jokes, learn Tamil (well, I do!), play games (cricket, football, cho cho, kickball, hide and seek) and we truly enjoy being together.

Today was spent in our rooms because it rained nonstop all day long. This evening's downtime was one that I don't want to ever forget in this lifetime. The majority of it was spent without electricity; not that electricity played any significant role in it anyways. After a tasty tiffin of sweet payasam with the girls, we had "prayer" together. It was completely spontaneous, of their own doing; I simply agreed to join them. We all gathered in a circle in one of their rooms. Together we sang praise songs, told Bible stories, shared testimonies and prayed. While all of these moments were precious to me, it was praying that I treasured most. Picture it if you will...about 25 girls, ranging in age from 4 to 18 years old, and myself in a circle, on our knees praying by candlelight. Each taking turns praying for a variety of different prayer points that were mentioned prior to the beginning of our prayers. Many of their prayers were in Tamil...a few were brave enough to pray in English. It was such an incredible feeling to be praying with these girls, whether I could understand their prayers or not. To me, their prayers were beautiful. They melted my heart. Nandhini thanked the Lord for having a nice place to stay, nice dresses to wear and food to eat. Gomathi prayed for her studies as she is in a very important school year (X standard). Joyce prayed for her brother, Gabriel's studies (also in X standard), for all of their US sponsors, and for the team's upcoming arrival in Dec/Jan. I am so thankful that I was able to hear these girls' prayers because they showed me the wonderful relationship that they have with the Lord. It filled my heart with an immense amount of joy to see the amount of love they have for Him.

After prayer with the girls, I headed to the boys' rooms for a little while before dinner. The older boys were sleeping, but the younger boys were singing praise songs. Again, it was not a planned worship time, they were just doing it of their own accord. It was so great to listen to them praising God (in their own language and English) and to have the chance to join them in doing so. They practiced a wonderful skit of the story of David and Goliath, eager for me to correct any of their English mistakes. Their skit was incredible for a group of boys ranging in age from 4 to 13 years old! Afterwards, we simply sat together telling stories and speaking about their questions about America; innocent questions that clearly they were very curious about. It was such a sweet sweet time to be able to sit with these amazing young boys and just chat with them.

I can't quite describe to you why this time means the most to me. It might even sound a bit boring to you (I certainly hope not, but I don't know as I am not coming from your perspective). You really have to experience one of these downtimes to truly understand what I'm talking about. Hopefully, my descriptions have given you enough detail to be able to imagine them. I feel so blessed to be able to fill my downtime with these children. They are the reason for my happiness each and every day. It is because of them that I can spend six months away from my friends, family and home, and not be incredibly homesick every minute of every day. I love them too too much. For Jesus said in Matthew 18:3-5, "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me." Never have these Bible verses rang any clearer for me than they have tonight. Thank you, Jesus.  

Heartbreak

On Sunday, I had an experience that I know will stay ingrained in my heart for a very long time. I am going to try my best to put it into words because I know that sharing it will help me and it is most definitely an experience that needs to be shared with as many people as possible. This past Sunday, I traveled to a place called Bethel with Backie, Freena, Rachel and some others. Now, before I get any farther, let me provide you with a little background to make things a little clearer.

Backie and Freena are married with two children, Ridley (12th standard) and Rachel (6th standard). They are the couple that began Carmel Ministries. They planted the seed and have helped it to grow into what it is today. To give you a small idea of what they have accomplished, what started out as only an idea grew into 3 intricate parts of an amazing ministry. The first part is a private Christian school with a total of over 1,000 students and nearly 45 teachers. Another part of Carmel Ministries is the hostel (within 20 minutes' walking distance to the school), which is home to about 63 children. A few of these children have no parents, many have only one; but all of their families cannot afford for their children to live at home with them. The final part of Carmel Ministries is its FKP program, which stands for Family Knit Program. Almost all of the children at the hostel (in addition to about five hundred students attending Carmel School, other government schools and colleges) are sponsored by families or individuals in the U.S.A. The sponsorship pays for school fees, uniforms, food, textbooks,etc. The sponsors give these children the opportunity to get a good education and to learn about Jesus. It's truly incredible what Backie and Freena have created out of nothing with the help of some very generous people and churches in America.

Backie and Freena wanted to begin this ministry because they themselves grew up in a very similar setting, almost identical. Freena was dropped off at the Bethel home when she was about two and a half years old and Backie, around the age of seven. They both grew up there. Freena never saw or heard from her family ever again. As you can imagine, the children that they grew up with as well as the staff that took care of them became like family. During my stay here, I have heard about and met many of Freena's Bethel brothers and sisters.

Every year, the Bethel home holds a "Harvest Day" and each year Freena and Backie attend. The Harvest Day consists of many friends and former Bethel children coming to Bethel to make and sell different snacks and other toys and knickknacks. There is also a raffle and an auction of a variety of different things (clothing, appliances, dishes, live animals...the list goes on and on) that people bring as their donation to the cause. All of the funds support the Bethel home; so when it comes down to it, it is like a fundraiser of sorts. Anyways, so that is where we went on Sunday.

It was about an hour and a half drive, maybe two hours at the most. Our car was filled to the max: Freena, Backie, Rachel, myself, Renuga, Kalai and three of Backie and Freena's Bethel brothers/sisters (yes, that makes a total of nine people in one car, none of which were small children). Hey, you think that's a lot, just think we had two live turkeys added to our load on the way back!!

When we arrived at Bethel, one of the first things I noticed was how big their grounds are. Later, Backie told me they have 120 acres. They have three or four homes for the boys, three or four homes for the girls, a baby home, college, school, church, auditorium, staff quarters, and much more...all on the same campus! We cooked and sold all of our banana leaf snacks (verdai, if I remember the Tamil name correctly), raising 1,450 rupees for Bethel. After the auction finished and we had some lunch, Freena took me to the baby home as she had been promising me. She knows how much I love babies as I am always sharing photos with her of my friends' babies and all my Rainbow Fish babies from my job at a daycare at home. It's pretty easy to see my love for babies as I'm sure many of you know!

It is at the baby home where my heart felt like it was shattered into a million pieces. These babies all varied in age, the oldest probably about three years. We walk into the first room and I immediately notice all four walls are lined with cribs or small beds. These babies were older toddlers, I'd say. Some were sleeping and a few were awake. It is those awake faces that caused my heart to break. The look in their eyes is something that I'm sure I won't be able to accurately describe, so hopefully these photos help.

 It seemed as though they were just looking for someone to love them. Their eyes seemed to be pleading for any kind of affection as they lay there, motionless in their rusty metal cribs.

One girl had a deformed right hand with only two fingers, the thumb and forefinger, but had a smile that could light up an entire room, I'm quite sure of it. She was adorable to say the least.

When we walked into the next room, I fell in love. Trust me, I am not exaggerating. The next room had small babies, all most likely under the age of seven months (that would be my guess). A few of these babies were very ill (as seen below), but the majority were as healthy as could be.

It was when Freena called me over to "come look at this baby" that my heart felt a love like never before. I crossed the room, leaned over the cradle and looked into the most beautiful pair of dark brown eyes that I have ever seen. She also had the most gorgeous head of soft, thick black hair.

 When I looked at her information tag, the thing that struck me immediately was that she had no name. My heart melted for this nameless stunning baby girl. I cannot remember her exact age, but I want to say she is less than two months old. When I held her hand and made her smile, my heart warmed and I had the happiest feeling in the world. I still am not sure why, but I felt such an incredible connection with this beautiful baby girl. Walking away from her was like pulling out my heart and leaving it lying there next to her in the cradle. Leaving this room shattered my heart and filled me with a sense of such sorrow that I cannot even begin to describe it. On the car ride home, I listened to some Christian music to help out all of the thoughts that were going through my mind and the all of the tears that wanted so badly to come racing down my cheeks.

Even writing about it now, I still have a million different thoughts going through my head. At first, I struggled the most with the thought of how on Earth could these parents make the decision to give these gorgeous babies away? Now, after thinking about it a little more rationally, I know there is a lot more that goes into the equation such as lack of money, lack of birth control and a strong desire for boy babies (boys take care of parents as they grow older, make more money and don't require a dowry to marry). But, to drop your baby at an orphanage when it is just five days old?

There was also a set of twins in the nursery, who Freena later told me got brought to Bethel because their parents already had four children. How do you go about choosing which of your children to place in an orphanage, never to see you again and possibly grow up without ever having the love of any parents? How does one even make that decision?

I know that there are many people in the United States and other countries who are struggling to have children of their own and are completely devastated by it, refusing to adopt for fear of not establishing a connection with the child. On the other hand, this experience opened my eyes to all of the children that are in desperate need around the world, who want nothing more than to be loved. I myself can attest to adoption being equivalent to having biological children. Though it's not from a parent's perspective, I think it still counts. My sister was adopted when she was just three months old from South Korea, two years before I was born. I have NEVER EVER in my life not felt as though she does not have the same DNA running through her veins. We are best friends and I am always the first to stand up for her. She is my sister through and through. I love her more than I can put into words and am SO PROUD to call her my sister. I am beyond grateful to my parents for making the decision to adopt my sister. I don't know what would have happened if they hadn't.

Adoption is an incredible opportunity to help children in need. I truly believe that adoption is the Lord's way of reaching out His hand to those who are unable to help themselves. It is not the adoption agencies that match parents with children, it's God who is hand-selecting these precious children for incredibly lucky families. I have always held adoption close to my heart, but Sunday's experience has made it that much more of a passion.

Another thought that I can't get out of my head is this. How many expecting parents in America have their child's complete wardrobe sitting in drawers, furniture and toys purchased and an entire room decorated just for their baby before he/she is even born? Too many to even try and count. And, here I am, staring into the sad beautiful eyes of babies whose parents got rid of them five days after bringing them into the world or didn't even select a name for their child before giving her away. Babies who are spending the first few months of their lives not being cuddled and loved by their parents, but by lying in a crib with a small white kerchief tied around their waist acting as a diaper.

As you sit at your computer or laptop or smartphone or iPad reading this post, I ask that you remember these precious babies who have no one to love them besides the Lord. Look at these photos and pray for each one of these sweet faces, that the Lord may work in their lives and give them someone who will love them with all their heart. Especially for my sweet brown-eyed girl, that God knows her name and has a wonderful plan for her life. I know that some of these photos are hard to look at because I think my camera managed to capture that look I described in some of the children's faces. All I ask is that, as you go through your daily routine, don't forget there are children living in poverty and in orphanages all around the world, waiting for love to enter their lives.

If I've learned anything on this trip so far, it is this: "Do everything without grumbling or complaining" (Philippians 2:14) because, in all seriousness, where do I have room to complain? God has blessed me in more ways than I can even remember to be thankful for sometimes. These infants, just months old, are laying in cribs not knowing the love of a mother's touch or the sweetness of a father's embrace or even the softness of a freshly laundered baby blanket. It is all that is on my mind. I know God does not mean for His children to grow up in this way, but why these children? They are so small, so innocent; precious is not even a good enough word to describe them. Why do they not get the chance to grow up without the everyday 'necessities' that are daily taken for granted by many? I wish I could reach out to them. Bring them home with me. Buy them blankets, soft squishy toys and adorable, new clean clothes. Give them all the love that they deserve and more. Cuddle and kiss them all day long.

But here I am. I am 25 years old and living out my dream of living in India for six months teaching kids that I adore with all my heart. I spend every day with 63 children and 8 amazing adults who have become my family and my best friends. I teach English to 400 students five days a week from 9:30-3:30 to students who are so eager to learn. All I know is that I am here for a purpose. So I am loving these kids with everything that is in me and more because I can. That's why God has given me this amazing opportunity. While I don't even want to think about it, I know that March 9, 2014 is probably going to be one of the most difficult days of my life, but I have so much time before then. And I plan on filling every precious waking moment of it loving these kids and the incredible staff of Carmel and showing them all how much God loves each one of them.

Sunday truly opened my eyes. I hope my words have done justice for what my heart felt and my eyes saw. I am still thinking of that sweet brown-eyed baby girl as I sit here typing this post; praying each day for God to show me what purpose He allowed this connection with her to take place. I hope this post encourages you to love your family, be thankful for what you have and get out and help those in need. God is at work.