I have to admit that I felt a bit like a failure this past week, but I learned a very important lesson through it all. I was able to see God at work, so I am grateful to Him for opening my eyes. Trials may come, things might not always be sunshine and rainbows, but they are particularly the times when we need to lean on the Lord. He is waiting for us during those times, so all we have to do is turn to Him.
At the beginning of last week, I gave all 6 of my classes an exam on some of the things that I have taught them over the past two months. This was upon Backie's request, not my own. In my classroom I use a variety of different methods and approaches so I felt like I had a good grasp on how my students were getting along, but I was happy to oblige to Backie's request and see how my students would fare. My preparations (what seemed like a VERY busy time period) included: ensuring the layout of the exam covered an adequate amount of material and totaled the correct number of marks (50), creating a different question paper for each standard that I teach (that would be a total of 6 plus 6 keys that I also made for easy grading; not to mention all of the revisions that I made to the test in between first draft and final copy), and, finally, making sure all of my students were well-prepared for the test (we spent a full week prior to the test reviewing all subject material that would be covered on the exam plus, in the evenings, I gave extra help to some of the children at the hostel).
All of my students took this test last Monday (Dec 2nd). It's now Sunday, and I finished marking my almost 400 tests (some students were absent...so not quite 400) yesterday. Considering that half of this week was spent in Chennai, I think that 5 days is a pretty good turn around time! While doing the corrections was quite a lengthy and tiring process, I must admit that it went pretty quickly because I was eager to see my students' scores.
Now, at first, when I began marking, I felt very sad and discouraged that sometimes an entire class wouldn't score above a 40 (the total was 50 marks). I took it personally and it was not a nice feeling, but after marking all of my exams, I have learned a couple of things...
1. When you are teaching a class of 88 students single-handed, there might be a few students that you don't reach.
2. When you are teaching a language that is not a child's native tongue, they might not have the vocabulary to speak their doubts.
3. And possibly the most important, I have learned a little more behind the specifics of Carmel Matriculation School. Fifth standard and younger has 3 sections/classes (A, B and C), whereas sixth standard through ninth has only 2 (A and B). These classes are not simply divided into two or three even groups. They are divided by "brightness level." For the younger standards, A section is for the "dull" students, B section is for the "average" students and C section is for the "bright" students. For the older standards, A section is for the "dull" students and B section is for the "bright students;" except for ninth standard which is, for some strange reason, the opposite (haven't quite figured out the reason yet). Now, I was not fully aware of this until after my exams, and while I'm a little frustrated that I didn't know it sooner, I am thankful that I gave this exam and was able to realize the importance of this detail in my classroom. In my classroom, I have all of the sections together, so it is very easy for those A and B sections to get lost and left behind. But, now I know and am able to incorporate it into my teaching style and this can only improve my teaching.
So, while I am disappointed by some scores, I am filled with determination to do better. To reach ALL of the students in my classes and not just the B or C sections. To have everyone participating, learning and, most importantly, speaking. Already I have made some changes and after the New Year, I plan on implementing more. (Half-yearly exams start at the end of this week followed by half-yearly holidays and Christmas/New Year's...so only a couple days of spoken class remaining for 2013)
Many times when I was growing up, my Gram said to me one phrase over and over again. So many times I heard it, that it has stuck in my head for life. That phrase is, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." Never has that phrase rang clearer for me than it does at this moment. I am ready and eager to pick myself up and try again so that I can become the best English teacher possible for these students, who have quickly worked their way into my heart. I don't really know how my heart has enough space for all 400 of them, but somehow God has made it grow to fit them all. While last week was very discouraging, I am more than ready to face a new week...a new week that will bring change.
Through all of this, I am especially thankful today for this Bible verse.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-4
It is speaking so clearly to me today...through my test results last week and a family matter that occurred this weekend. It is helping me through these small bumps in the road and I am beyond grateful to God for opening my eyes to it last night. I know that I am developing perseverance through my trials in the classroom and those in my family life, and that my faith will only grow stronger because of them. So, I am thankful for this trial at school because through it, God is at work inside of me. I now understand the importance of perseverance...thank you, Lord, for helping to build mine.
At the beginning of last week, I gave all 6 of my classes an exam on some of the things that I have taught them over the past two months. This was upon Backie's request, not my own. In my classroom I use a variety of different methods and approaches so I felt like I had a good grasp on how my students were getting along, but I was happy to oblige to Backie's request and see how my students would fare. My preparations (what seemed like a VERY busy time period) included: ensuring the layout of the exam covered an adequate amount of material and totaled the correct number of marks (50), creating a different question paper for each standard that I teach (that would be a total of 6 plus 6 keys that I also made for easy grading; not to mention all of the revisions that I made to the test in between first draft and final copy), and, finally, making sure all of my students were well-prepared for the test (we spent a full week prior to the test reviewing all subject material that would be covered on the exam plus, in the evenings, I gave extra help to some of the children at the hostel).
All of my students took this test last Monday (Dec 2nd). It's now Sunday, and I finished marking my almost 400 tests (some students were absent...so not quite 400) yesterday. Considering that half of this week was spent in Chennai, I think that 5 days is a pretty good turn around time! While doing the corrections was quite a lengthy and tiring process, I must admit that it went pretty quickly because I was eager to see my students' scores.
Now, at first, when I began marking, I felt very sad and discouraged that sometimes an entire class wouldn't score above a 40 (the total was 50 marks). I took it personally and it was not a nice feeling, but after marking all of my exams, I have learned a couple of things...
1. When you are teaching a class of 88 students single-handed, there might be a few students that you don't reach.
2. When you are teaching a language that is not a child's native tongue, they might not have the vocabulary to speak their doubts.
3. And possibly the most important, I have learned a little more behind the specifics of Carmel Matriculation School. Fifth standard and younger has 3 sections/classes (A, B and C), whereas sixth standard through ninth has only 2 (A and B). These classes are not simply divided into two or three even groups. They are divided by "brightness level." For the younger standards, A section is for the "dull" students, B section is for the "average" students and C section is for the "bright" students. For the older standards, A section is for the "dull" students and B section is for the "bright students;" except for ninth standard which is, for some strange reason, the opposite (haven't quite figured out the reason yet). Now, I was not fully aware of this until after my exams, and while I'm a little frustrated that I didn't know it sooner, I am thankful that I gave this exam and was able to realize the importance of this detail in my classroom. In my classroom, I have all of the sections together, so it is very easy for those A and B sections to get lost and left behind. But, now I know and am able to incorporate it into my teaching style and this can only improve my teaching.
So, while I am disappointed by some scores, I am filled with determination to do better. To reach ALL of the students in my classes and not just the B or C sections. To have everyone participating, learning and, most importantly, speaking. Already I have made some changes and after the New Year, I plan on implementing more. (Half-yearly exams start at the end of this week followed by half-yearly holidays and Christmas/New Year's...so only a couple days of spoken class remaining for 2013)
Many times when I was growing up, my Gram said to me one phrase over and over again. So many times I heard it, that it has stuck in my head for life. That phrase is, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." Never has that phrase rang clearer for me than it does at this moment. I am ready and eager to pick myself up and try again so that I can become the best English teacher possible for these students, who have quickly worked their way into my heart. I don't really know how my heart has enough space for all 400 of them, but somehow God has made it grow to fit them all. While last week was very discouraging, I am more than ready to face a new week...a new week that will bring change.
Through all of this, I am especially thankful today for this Bible verse.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-4
It is speaking so clearly to me today...through my test results last week and a family matter that occurred this weekend. It is helping me through these small bumps in the road and I am beyond grateful to God for opening my eyes to it last night. I know that I am developing perseverance through my trials in the classroom and those in my family life, and that my faith will only grow stronger because of them. So, I am thankful for this trial at school because through it, God is at work inside of me. I now understand the importance of perseverance...thank you, Lord, for helping to build mine.
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