A New Year

As 2013 comes to a close, I look back at the year that God has blessed me with. If I chose 4 highlights from this year, they would be:

1. the decision to follow my dream
2. being blown away by an enormous amount of love and support from all of my family and friends
3. meeting a wonderful group of lifelong friends and prayer partners from all around the world as well as gaining a huge amount of knowledge and skills at ILTI 2013 (an amazing literacy training led by LEI in Tulsa, OK)
4. the chance to celebrate Christmas with the most incredible kids I know

God has overwhelmed me with blessings this year. I feel almost unworthy of all He has provided for me. While I am beyond thankful for all the blessings, I am also extremely thankful for the trials of 2013. It is through those trials that God has shown me His power and His love. It is through those trials that God has deepened my faith and brought me through an even stronger person than before. In my life and the lives of those around me, I have seen God hard at work this year. The power and love of the Lord astounds me and it's an amazing thing to see if you just look carefully.

Obviously, the biggest part of 2013 for me was getting on a plane and beginning my 6-month stay in Semmandakuppam, India. I look back at the past three and a half months in awe of God's love. He has been with me every step of this incredible journey. I am so thankful that I have never, not once, felt alone while I've been so far away from home. These children have taught me more than I could even begin to put into words. They are my best friends, my brothers and sisters. I love each of them with everything that's in me. Teaching alongside the teachers of CMS has been an experience that I will not forget in this lifetime. Backie, Freena and all of the staff of Carmel Children's Home inspire me every single day.

To be starting a new year with my Carmel family is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I will, not for one minute, take for granted. I am so lucky that God has given me this enormous blessing of being here with these amazing people. I could not be more excited for what 2014 will bring. This year, I am not making any resolutions because when I think about it, my future is not in my hands, it's in the Lord's. He is in control of my life and knows what's next for me. For Proverbs 16:3 says, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."

Already, I know that 2014 will bring many trials and joys. Some of them include...

*the team's visit to Carmel
*the second half of my unforgettable Carmel stay
*one of the most difficult goodbyes I may ever experience
*a most joyous reunion with my family and friends that will be 6 months in the making
*determining what's next for me in my life

But, as I look forward, I have no worries or fears because I know that God will be with me every step of the way. I hope that you all read this post and get inspired to feel the same. God is with each one of us as long as we just believe in Him. He is great...just let Him know it!! A very happy new year is wished to all who read this post. God bless you and your family in 2014!

Faith

Matthew 17:20 says, "'You don't have enough faith,' Jesus told them. 'I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.'"

This week I have seen the faith of some of these children and, let me tell you, their faith is a lot bigger than a mustard seed. It has made my heart swell with pride to see their faith on display. God is most definitely at work here at Carmel and it is an absolutely incredible thing to see.

Before every meal (tiffin/snack included), both the boys and the girls pray a group prayer. They also say a prayer after arriving home from school and finishing study time. I think one of the things I find most amazing is that many of the older children read the Bible and say a prayer before they begin studying. It amazes me because the mealtime and after-school/study time prayers are mandatory (they are ingrained into their brains and they say the same prayer every day), but their pre-study prayers and Bible-readings are completely done out of their own desire. You have no idea how encouraging it is to see Madesh, Gomathi, Joyce, Albert and Sasi (those are just a few) reading the Bible purely for their own interest.

This past Sunday, I gave a really nice message (if I do say so myself) on James 1:22-25. It was surprising when it took quite a while for anyone to find it because they weren't familiar with this book. So, I encouraged them all to read it this week in their spare time. Well, Monday night, Albert (who is 16 years old) asked me quite innocently, "Aunty, do you understand James 3?" I was so proud that he was actually reading and making an effort to understand the book that I had encouraged him to. It touched my heart that he wanted to make sure he understood clearly the chapters that I had advised. It is not often that you come across a sixteen-year-old boy who reads the Bible prior to studying every single evening! It's hard enough to get teenage boys (and girls for that matter) to church every Sunday, but here are Albert, Madesh, Sasi, Gabriel, Joyce, Gomathi, Renuga and Gayathri going to devotion in chapel every morning at 6:30am, studying for an average of 5 hours each day, and praying and reading the bible of their own accord. It only strengthens my own faith to see these children's faith on such glorious display.

Another really special moment that I got to witness this week was at school on Saturday. Right now, the students are in the middle of writing their half-yearly exams (similar to mid-terms). On Saturday, I supervised sections IV-B, IV-C, V-B and V-C in Memorial Hall with three other teachers. I am walking down the long lines of children as I supervise them beginning to write their tests (we had just handed out the papers and question papers). When I walk past Lokesh (who is in V-C section and lives at the hostel), I see him in the middle of a prayer. Here he is, preparing to write his test, and what is the first thing he does? Pray. My heart overflowed with pride and joy for this young boy who I've become so close to over the past three months.

I see these young children and the amount of faith they have and it really makes me wonder about those people around the world who have no faith...not even faith the size of a mustard seed (which is pretty miniscule). Some of these people have everything they could dream of, but they have absolutely no faith. Yet, here are these children ages 9-18, who have very little in the way of material things and are lucky enough to own a Bible in their mother tongue. But, they are praying, praising God and reading the Bible every day, simply because they want to.

Lokesh, who is just in 5th grade, has no parents. When summer holidays come, he chooses to stay at the hostel when all of the other children go home to spend time with their families. He has every excuse to be unhappy and ungrateful, but he has enough faith to move a mountain and most always has a smile and positive outlook on life. Lokesh's faith inspires me every day. He brightens my day whenever I am feeling down. I am so thankful for this sweet sweet boy with a smile that could light up this world.

These two experiences just give you a glimpse of how amazing these kids are and maybe you can begin to see the reason behind my love for these kids and this incredible place. Not many people get to see God at work in their lifetimes or get to live their dream and follow the Lord's plan for them, but here I am experiencing BOTH. I am so grateful to God for providing me with this opportunity and I am cherishing every single moment.

As Christmas draws closer, yes, I do miss my family like crazy and part of me does wish that I was home to celebrate with them, but I must see what God has given me this year. He's given me the chance to be here, to celebrate Christmas with my Carmel family. I know many people around the world don't have the opportunity to celebrate Christmas this year with any family. So, I am extremely thankful to be here, able to celebrate with people who inspire me most. The climate may be different, the songs may be in another language, the ways of celebrating may not be what I am used to, but Christmas is still a wonderful time to be spent with family and friends, praising the Lord for the miracle that He gave us through the birth of His Son, Jesus Christ. I am here, able to enjoy this holiday with some of my best friends and a community that has quickly become my second family. How lucky I am to be surrounded by people I love during this most special time of year! <3

Perseverance

I have to admit that I felt a bit like a failure this past week, but I learned a very important lesson through it all. I was able to see God at work, so I am grateful to Him for opening my eyes. Trials may come, things might not always be sunshine and rainbows, but they are particularly the times when we need to lean on the Lord. He is waiting for us during those times, so all we have to do is turn to Him.

At the beginning of last week, I gave all 6 of my classes an exam on some of the things that I have taught them over the past two months. This was upon Backie's request, not my own. In my classroom I use a variety of different methods and approaches so I felt like I had a good grasp on how my students were getting along, but I was happy to oblige to Backie's request and see how my students would fare. My preparations (what seemed like a VERY busy time period) included: ensuring the layout of the exam covered an adequate amount of material and totaled the correct number of marks (50), creating a different question paper for each standard that I teach (that would be a total of 6 plus 6 keys that I also made for easy grading; not to mention all of the revisions that I made to the test in between first draft and final copy), and, finally, making sure all of my students were well-prepared for the test (we spent a full week prior to the test reviewing all subject material that would be covered on the exam plus, in the evenings, I gave extra help to some of the children at the hostel).

All of my students took this test last Monday (Dec 2nd). It's now Sunday, and I finished marking my almost 400 tests (some students were absent...so not quite 400) yesterday. Considering that half of this week was spent in Chennai, I think that 5 days is a pretty good turn around time! While doing the corrections was quite a lengthy and tiring process, I must admit that it went pretty quickly because I was eager to see my students' scores.

Now, at first, when I began marking, I felt very sad and discouraged that sometimes an entire class wouldn't score above a 40 (the total was 50 marks). I took it personally and it was not a nice feeling, but after marking all of my exams, I have learned a couple of things...

1. When you are teaching a class of 88 students single-handed, there might be a few students that you don't reach.
2. When you are teaching a language that is not a child's native tongue, they might not have the vocabulary to speak their doubts.
3. And possibly the most important, I have learned a little more behind the specifics of Carmel Matriculation School. Fifth standard and younger has 3 sections/classes (A, B and C), whereas sixth standard through ninth has only 2 (A and B). These classes are not simply divided into two or three even groups. They are divided by "brightness level." For the younger standards, A section is for the "dull" students, B section is for the "average" students and C section is for the "bright" students. For the older standards, A section is for the "dull" students and B section is for the "bright students;" except for ninth standard which is, for some strange reason, the opposite (haven't quite figured out the reason yet). Now, I was not fully aware of this until after my exams, and while I'm a little frustrated that I didn't know it sooner, I am thankful that I gave this exam and was able to realize the importance of this detail in my classroom. In my classroom, I have all of the sections together, so it is very easy for those A and B sections to get lost and left behind. But, now I know and am able to incorporate it into my teaching style and this can only improve my teaching.

So, while I am disappointed by some scores, I am filled with determination to do better. To reach ALL of the students in my classes and not just the B or C sections. To have everyone participating, learning and, most importantly, speaking. Already I have made some changes and after the New Year, I plan on implementing more. (Half-yearly exams start at the end of this week followed by half-yearly holidays and Christmas/New Year's...so only a couple days of spoken class remaining for 2013)

Many times when I was growing up, my Gram said to me one phrase over and over again. So many times I heard it, that it has stuck in my head for life. That phrase is, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." Never has that phrase rang clearer for me than it does at this moment. I am ready and eager to pick myself up and try again so that I can become the best English teacher possible for these students, who have quickly worked their way into my heart. I don't really know how my heart has enough space for all 400 of them, but somehow God has made it grow to fit them all. While last week was very discouraging, I am more than ready to face a new week...a new week that will bring change.

Through all of this, I am especially thankful today for this Bible verse.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-4

It is speaking so clearly to me today...through my test results last week and a family matter that occurred this weekend. It is helping me through these small bumps in the road and I am beyond grateful to God for opening my eyes to it last night. I know that I am developing perseverance through my trials in the classroom and those in my family life, and that my faith will only grow stronger because of them. So, I am thankful for this trial at school because through it, God is at work inside of me. I now understand the importance of perseverance...thank you, Lord, for helping to build mine.